Mal Emery Nearly Killed

Mal Emery Nearly Killed

I nearly didn’t make 2010…

I promise you there is a marketing message behind the fact that I nearly brought about my own demise over Christmas. Some would say that’s a good thing, others might not.  I’ll prove to you that minutes, even seconds, not only mean a lot but they can actually save your life.


Here’s what happened…

Picture this… I am at the “Bike Entrepreneur” in Osborne Park, with the intention of buying a push bike for a friend. You see, my idea of being healthy and getting healthy is to ride my push bike 3 to 5 times a week along the coast in front of my house, usually ending up at a coffee shop as my form of reward.

Most often, it’s 13 to 15 kms in any one direction, and if the Fremantle Doctor (a big wind) comes up I have been known to “phone a friend” who summarily deposits my now dismantled bike in the back of their car and runs me home.

It does get worse…

My daughter claims that she has ridden to Hillary’s Boat Harbour with me about 13 kms up the road and because of the now howling gale that has come up I have requested that she ride home, get her car, and drive back to Hillary’s and pick me up.

Now she is prone to exaggeration but only to the extent that I claim she volunteered.

Unfortunately I am not on solid ground for this one. My good pals, Cheryl and John Denton, have a story to tell of my “wimpiness” also. Sadly it’s true – remember I told you I am a flawed individual. Anyway… John rides from the opposite direction to me to a common destination. Most times, Cheryl meets up with us and we have breakfast together. John and I then hop on our bikes and head off in the opposite direction again heading home.

On this particular occasion, we had an extended breakfast and on completion realised that a storm had set in. Here is the best part… Cheryl offered for me to put my bike in the back of her car and take me home, dry, safe and sound. But husband John had to ride home.

John hasn’t quite got over that yet. I can still hear Cheryl’s words clearly… “Mal can’t ride home in this weather! You’ll be fine dear. Just park under a bridge!”.

John claims that he actually spent an hour parked under a bridge and he has never seen so much water in his life. I figure being wet is a small price to pay for my friendship.

Anyway, let’s get back to the point of the story. I am at the bike shop where I bought my “neat” bike a year or two earlier. Now, don’t get a picture of me in lycra – it’s not who I am anyway – but I do want a good lightweight bike with plenty of gears that makes my life easier. Obviously, I enthused my daughter and her girlfriend Anita because not long after I got my bike, they bought theirs.

So, I’m at the bike shop and the phone rings. It’s my daughter Denva and she is offering me advice.  That is not unusual – she gives me plenty of that, but for a change this is free. She has a habit of taxing me for everything. She figures that’s the price I pay for the pleasure of having her as my daughter, and frankly, it’s a small price.

Anyway, here is what she says – “Dad, make sure you test drive the bike”. Not something I am prone to do because I am a “boy shopper”, in the shop, out the shop. Unlike my daughter, I actually take her advice and asked the sales guy if I could test drive the thing.

We immediately had a problem. He couldn’t allow me to ride it unless I wore a bike helmet. Now I accept that’s not a problem for most, except I have never worn a helmet in the 18 years it’s been made compulsory to do so. To say I have a problem with authority and regulation is an understatement. I figured as an adult I don’t need any regulator to force me to wear a helmet. I am old enough and ugly enough to make that decision on my own. And in this case, I have openly protested for the last 18 years by not wearing one, and get this, never been pulled over by the cops once.

By the way, I am not the only one to protest against this sort of regulation…

Here is a quote from the Cyclists Rights Action Group about the low-down on bicycle helmet laws. “Since the Mandatory Helmet Laws for Bicyclists, huge declines have occurred in the numbers of cyclists. The government has neglected to consider that many people would give up cycling rather than wear a helmet, and it is only in rare cases that these declines have been accurately recorded. In the ACT the decline was measured at 33% on weekdays and 50% on weekends. The overall decline Australia-wide is estimated at 30% to 50%. Some people just don’t want to wear a helmet.”

The amount of cyclists in Perth shows an average of 483 crossed the central Narrows Bridge survey point each day in 2005, compared to 996 cyclists in 1992.

Considering that WA has had greater than 25% population growth since 1992 that’s a pretty big reduction in riders who cycle for health benefits. You can read some more about this here:

All that said, if I wanted to test ride the bike, I had to wear a helmet. Protesting as I did, I complied. On my return, the debate continued. The sales guy, an avid rider himself, said his helmet had saved his neck a dozen times at least. So in that moment I said “Ok, give me a bloody helmet”.

Now, I owe this guy a thank you and a bottle of wine or two and frankly, that might not be enough. Why? Because 2 weeks later, although an accident not of my making, I got knocked unconscious when I crashed my bike and finished up in Emergency. You see, I was taken out by “friendly fire” when someone passed me, cut me off and took out my front wheel accidently and sent me flying. I’ve got to tell you things did go in to slow motion as I was catapulted head first into the first wooden power pole for miles.

The end result for my brave helmet was it was flattened on one side and cracked in 3 places. I didn’t however completely escape unscathed. I did knock myself out, the right side of my body was battered and bruised and had much less skin on it than when I started to ride. In Emergency I was quickly put in a neck brace – even thought I might have had a head injury. I suppose they didn’t know how thick my cranium could be.

It did appear that I had broken my wrist and maybe busted my shoulder or so. Several X-rays later, no breaks but tons of damage. I certainly don’t roll with the punches like I used to. I am still wrecked and having a deep tissue massage this afternoon to try to get full movement back.

So in a personal sense, fleeting advice given and taken can save your neck and I am absolutely convinced if I hadn’t had a helmet on, the minimum  damage that I would have suffered was a cracked skull. I don’t really want to think about what else might have happened.

Guys like Donald Trump know that seconds and minutes can count in business and I will tell you a Trump story that proves my point. I am, however, unsure as to the truth of the story, but I choose to believe it, at least in part. And it goes like this…

Trump is in one of his Atlanta hotels – he is having a guided tour with the Manager and a guy with the clip-board who is taking notes. They enter the toilets or washroom if you prefer, only to find it’s a mess. Overflowing paper towels strewn over the floor and water everywhere. Trump says “fix it” to the clip-board guy. Off he goes and Trump’s inspection continues.

10 minutes later after inspecting the kitchen, he heads back to the toilet only to discover that nothing has changed. With protests from the Manager that it has “only been 10 minutes” Trump says to him “You have now got 10 minutes to fire the other guy and fix it also, or you’re fired”.

You see, Trump gets that minutes count. He knows that if a patron, or anybody else for that matter, walks in that washroom and slips over on a dirty and wet floor, you have a multi-million dollar law suit on your hands. He also gets that if a “high roller” who could lose a million dollars at his casino walks in, sees it’s a mess and decides to stay somewhere else next time, and lose his million dollars somewhere else. It costs you money.

So my friends, it is good to be with you in 2010. I nearly didn’t make it so trust me when I say literally, moments count. In my case, a fleeting request from my daughter and a moment of stubbornness on behalf of the sales guy probably saved my life as I know it today.

All the best,
Mal Emery
Committed to Elevating the Financial Wealth and Wellbeing of Society
Through Entrepreneurial Excellence and Guilty of Conspiracy to Create Capitalism

P.S. One final comment – Sir Charles Gairdner Hospital Emergency was spectacular.  It really was an Emergency Room, not a waiting room and the dozen or so staff I came in contact with were all brilliant, hard working, caring individuals who preserved their sense of humour under trying conditions.

P.P.S. If you’ve missed any of my previous Rants, I have them all available
for you to see on my website.

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  1. Thanks folks for your kind words of support. It was a lot of fun writing this blog and more fun reading your comments.

    I have to admit it is a drastic step to take to get a bit of sympathy and a blog read, i’m coming along fine although still feeling the affects of biting the dust.


    PS – For all those who enquired, the pole is doing fine, i managed to avoid it this mornin. But the helmet is cactus and the friendly fire was a friend who passed me but cut in too soon.

  2. I don’t know Mal, as you get older we get more and more shaggy-dog hospital stories.

    Yes, helmets save lives indeed. Thanks for sharing the message to oldies and youngies alike

  3. So you’re not totally invincible after all, Mal! Your daughter sounds great and you obviously adore her – I remember all your references to her from your presentation at QCS in Melbourne! Glad to hear you’re going to be fronting up for your Platinum presentation in Sydney next month – I was lucky enough to win a ticket and can’t wait!

    Take care and listen to the message to ‘slow down’!

  4. I hate to say it Mal, under these circumstances… but talk about an absolute ripper of a headline – guaranteed to get everyone to open your email and read every word (like I did).

    All the best for a speedy recovery.


  5. Hey Mal, glad to hear u made it out of that accident alive! The ruckus if you had carked it would have deafened half of perth! 🙂

    As a former motor bike rider, I guess wearing a helmet came naturally (I’d hate to hit something at 100 kph without a helmet), so when I brought a pushie a few years ago, a helmet was a no brainer for me.

    Can’t quite understand why people don’t like them – for me, it’s ALL about personal safety and nothing about government interference in our lives, etc.

    Still, give that bike sales guy an extra gift – he deserves it, and I’m reasonably confident you’ll have no problems wearing a helmet in future. 🙂

    All the best for 2010.

    Eran Malloch.

  6. Good to hear you are still with us,
    I ride most mornings and always sans the lid which shows I have not learned that much when I was one of the first in the U.K in 1974 to get fined the princely sum of £12 for no helmet on a motorbike.

    it only cost about 12 pence for a pint of larger that`s 100 pints
    get well soon

  7. Well Mal you sound ok now and much wiser for it.

    In my past life i use to be a personal trainer so i could organise for you some pre-riding fitness stretches and tips to better your reflexes and responses,because within what your saying at that moment a lot can and does happen mate , before you endo into some mass object that lets you know your only human and not at all free from impunity and that pains not far away on any given moment big fella. But hey my pain is financial and i am really looking out for those big bastard financial poles that hit me in the head all to oftern, and no bloody egg helmets going to fix my pain up when i fall,and it too is like slow motion with lots of pain to follow. So thats exactly and precisely why im eating up my new Mal emery nutrition diet and applying action like a good athlete, and Mal mate it tastes pretty and i have been applying your methods on ebay with great results and feed back.So i too require to lean to warm up and streatch more but in my mindset this time and not my body,except with my dream of walking into my bank ,he,he..
    So thanks for sharing your rants mateeyes,and oh yes i know Hillerys myself nice place and food , as i once lived not far from there back in 2007, and i gather a lot has changed to , all except the good ol freeo DR around 3/4 pm and good coffee down on the esplanade in freeo just after the saturday old woolshed market with good buskar music to boot.

    By the way Mal if you desire to be a little fitter ? but without the hard work attatched ?, then ask your freindly W.A..personal trainer to get you working on light ressistance training of high medium weight reps , combined with some speed work exercises the likes of hitting a focus pad or mitt just like boxing punches but not as intense, as this activates your (FAST TWITCH FIBRES FOR SPEED RESPONSE REFLEXES ) to which your really going to desire to have the more you want to get out and ride your bike,( even into your freinds cars oftern ? he,he, you ol sloth) and the bad news is fowlks if your over 35 yrs ? you tend to slow down within your natural reflexes , so this can assist you with a degree return of faster response reflex time but one must exercise their brain to enjoy synergy between the two in ballance.
    Enter Mal emerys Marketing’

    Over to you Mal mateeyes
    kind reguards

    P.S.) – If its not on ? its just not on!

    But you made it ,and thats

  8. Dear Mal Emery, I am so glad that you are okay and I hope that you are feeling very well again soon. And remember that famous quote you can’t keep a good man down Knowing how focused you are on acheiving what you set your mind to, I know that it won’t be long before you are back up and doing cartwheels 🙂 Best wishes to my favourite mentor 🙂

    Kind Regards,

    from Christina

  9. Now Mal maybe the stories about me falling off my bike will stop! And I’m really glad the friendly fire wasn’t me!

    Buy the guy in the bike shop a case of Champers and give him your damaged helmet as an example for him to use when convincing other ‘stubborn’ cyclists.

    Glad your still with us mate, and look forward to may more breakfast bike rides!

    John Denton

  10. Hi Mal, I’m pleased your injuries were mimimal. I’m a great believer in things happening for a reason & good coming from all of them. I’m sure the positive that you bring from this will be invaluable 🙂

    Stay well & happy.
    Warm regards, Toni.

  11. Hi Mal Sorry to hear about your accident and am very glad your ok, I didnt spend the last few years manourvering the universe to get you to be my mentor for you to pop off and leave me.Maybe you should stick to your sports car and get an exercise bike in front of your window out of harms way

    Get Well Soon
    Kind Regards
    Melissa xx

  12. Mal, you’re still required on planet earth for some time. Good message we should all take home though. Helmets do save lives and heads. Have a speedy recovery and a great year!

    John Lee

  13. Mal,
    Glad to hear your still alive and kicking. While he took a while to say it (learnt from you – no doubt ! )our friend Rodney above has some wise advice – there are better ways to exercise – bikes are —— dangerous things; thats why cylclists are on the decline – they are being knocked off!
    Regards for a Great 2010

    Keith (Mr Oxygen)
    Albury, N.S.W.

  14. Dear Mal,

    Glad to hear you’re recovering ok and especially glad you’re still with us, did you manage to get the person who cut you off?? Daughters are often the disguised angels that they are. You sure know how to write a great story that people want to read, and I’m learning so much off you. I’m really looking forward to working with you on Platinum – so stay alive!

    warm regards


  15. Happy Happy 2010 its a better world your still here! best of health, your very lucky, a mate of mine just come of his bike and broke his back. Wish you a speedy recovery. I would send you a nurse but your four legged friend might get jealous.

  16. Glad to hear you’re okay.

    I can imagine your dinner party stories for 2010.

    I’ll make sure to attend any of your talks in 2010 because I’m sure you’ll be telling that story.
    You can add a moral – Do it while you still can 🙂

    Happy riding. –

  17. One of your best posts to date. I loved hearing from you with a story so close to your heart (Head). Well done and I can’t waith to update you in Feb in Sydney with all the great learning and business teaching you have done for Jennifer and I.

  18. Great advice to you Mal! Glad it got flattened and you are still walking… thanks for the story about Trump, one day I am going to learn how to make those types of decisions, when my business begins. Sounds good. I love hearing about you and your daughter, always reminds me of my adventures with my own dad.

    Enjoy 2010
    Love, Melysa.

  19. Hey Mal, Half way through that story, I was thinking stuff the helmet, I am going riding…

    Thanks for the honesty. I will make sure I continue to wear mine.

    Great to still have you with us.


  20. Isn’t it a shame Mal so many of us have to learn the hard way. Those lessons do seem to stick with us the longest, though. Glad you are still here to tell us the tale.

  21. Well mate,

    I wait every year to see how you will start it – something new every time, a new angle or whatever.

    But your headline really hooked me in and gave me the lesson that you have taught so often to us all, you have to hook em with the headline or they won’t read any further.

    Glad to hear you are ok. Take care mate.


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