You Are Not Your Mistakes

You Are Not Your Mistakes


If you want to be successful at anything in life, whether it be business, sport, health, marriage raising children, you name it, there is something that all ‘successful’ people have in common.

In fact IT IS THE secret to success you have been searching for all these lean years. It could be the most successful trait commonly possessed by the most successful people on this planet.


I have learnt THE SECRET TO SUCCESS in my 58 years of expensive experience and like most GREAT TRUTHS in life it is ELEGANTLY SIMPLE…. NOT COMPLEX AND COMPLICATED.

In order to be successful you HAVE TO TAKE RISK… however most people are afraid to take risks because they are AFRAID TO FAIL and they are worried about what people will think.

Put simply when successful people fail at anything or when they don’t achieve what they expected to achieve, they don’t view it as a… mistake. They view it for what it REALLY is, it’s just a result and an opportunity to adjust.

After all there can be only 3 possibilities… better than anticipated, worse than anticipated or conversely equal to the result anticipated.

Just yesterday I did a seminar in Sydney, a small intimate event with just under 30 people, still my preferred type of event, where I get to speak for the whole day, just me, where I can customise my presentation to meet the outcome of the individuals present.

With small numbers it gives me the opportunity to quickly go round the room at the start and find out who is there, why they are there and what they do business wise.

Anyway, after the event, one of my regular members asked me if I “achieved what I wanted to achieved on the day and did the result of the day meet my expectation”.

My interpretation of that question was, “was I happy with the number of people who showed up?”, “did they have a good time and get what they wanted?”, and “did I make a few sale and justify financially putting it on?”

My response was, “it will be whatever it is, I can’t change what happen on the day BUT what I can change is what happens in the future”

And to be honest with you, I felt I made a few mistakes but NOW I’m well aware of what those mistakes are. And NOW I will adjust what I do next base on the results achieved (using this event as my reference point).

I know I am not those mistakes in the future.

It raises a couple of interesting points. The first one being the expectation of perfection. I would never have run the event if I expected it to be perfect. The only way for anything to be perfect, if there is such a thing, is by doing it (having results) and adjusting it for improvement.

A lot of people spend all of their lives wanting things to be perfect before they give it a go.

Frankly, I let go of this one a long long time ago. Why? Because it didn’t serve me and it would never allow me to have reached the height of success (if you would called what I’ve reached successful) that I have today.

It is just that… I DON’T TAKE FAILURE PERSONALLY and I know failure (RISK), if you must use that term, gets you closer to success.

In fact, recently a dear friend of mine thanked me, for many years ago, giving him permission to stop trying to be perfect. I had actually forgotten about it. I thought it was just a passing comment, but to him it was a REVELATION because in a sense he lived his life paralysed by perfection and the false thought that it’s possible to achieve such an outcome.

The seminar was a test and based on that test there are changes I now need to make that I wouldn’t have known about had I not done it.

I simply understand I am not my mistakes and the next seminar will be even better because I know what to correct to make it better.

All highly successful people know you get a second chance, and a third and a fourth chance and… you are not your mistakes and to be successful you must view and embrace RISK differently.

All the best,

Mal Emery
Committed to Elevating the Financial Wealth and Wellbeing of Society
Through Entrepreneurial Excellence and Guilty of Conspiracy to Create Capitalism

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  1. Christ you are honest. This email absolutely nails it in the best manner I have ever seen written and knowing you for at least 25 years is so Mal Emery and so from the heart true. Next time if you can’t afford anyone to fix your reticulation…. give me a call.

    Cheers Michael

  2. Hi Mal

    There’s a very good book called The Path of Least Resistance by Robert Fritz that covers this point very well.

    We are taught by our schools, our parents, our employers to associate ourselves with the outcome. Schools are especially guilty of teaching what’s right and what’s wrong and it cuts off our natural curiosity and creativity.

    By separating our sense of self from the outcome we can move forward with the understanding that it’s just feedback.

    Cheers Steve

  3. Greetings Mal ol mate hows the leg.

    Well ‘mateeyes’ you exceeded sundays confessions here ol mate,very honorable indeed.

    My personal tilt on perfectionism has been my doing and my undoing all rolled into one big dump.

    Its made me hard and broken me to lows i did not expect of & down more than 3 times over my past 25 years, but im here still standing and ready for each new day choices.

    And only now has it forced me to submit from the riggers of a broken body have ‘i learned to – {LET GO } !

    I now wake to the demands of my daughters presence
    and within this blessed humble honoured existence,i recite my little mantra,which goes,-
    -(Every day in every way i am becoming better & better but not pefect,& today something fantastic
    is going to happen to myself & my family).

    Now i say this even if im against the wall & against the odds,which has been all too oftern, but its just so,and that makes it real,and i get to do something with this daily.

    I now give myself permition to be flawed,and man is my lumpy head flawed.I now have learned to allow myself the ability to – {LET GO }.


    -‘Stress is caused by uncertainty’ and as Mal knows,to make great gains one must take great risks,period.

    NO GUTS – NO GLORY,NO SHI-VERS,however this i feel is dependant upon what rewards lay waiting vs
    the risk one must act out and at the cost to whomit also may extend to ?


    Albert Einstein once said,The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again & expecting the same result,So our lesson like wise ol Mate Mal emery says,is a fair call and thats to break an egg to make a gourmet omlett,- risk vs rewards,yeah, but in perspectives of messured concious thoughts.

    When people reach their highest perfection it is
    nothing special;it is their normal condition,-hindu saying:

    So were all perfect in a sense,yet were all not treated as equal,thats for bloody sure:

    Learn to let go ,that is the key to happiness,


    Thanks for your wisdom ol mate Mal,im still a work in progress,i appreciate your 10% input into my life.

    Be careful & kind to your body ol mate,

    Kind regards.

    Committed to delivering the facts and wellbeing of health & awareness of society through Entrepreneurial excellence and guilty of conspiracy to create better informed choices with our bodies & enviroments.


  4. Hello Mal Emery, how are you going? 🙂 I hope that all of your inuries are getting better.

    I read once a saying that said there is no failure, only feedback I ike that saying a lot 🙂

  5. Thanks all for your comments, good to hear from you Michael Ratner. For those who don’t know Michael was my first mentor when I decided to buy, build and sell food businesses,I made a lot of money with Michael generous support. He is a true master and character, somethings don’t change. Nice to hear from you Michael…best Mal

  6. I love the way that you apply the lesson of imperfection to yourself in order to get the message accross. Its like teaching with a megaphone. I have become a lot less obsessed with perfection nowadays and almost look forward to my next mistake so that I can learn from it and not let it happen again. If I am too protective of myself then the lesson will be lost.

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